my valentine

Todd and I on a trip to San Diego in November 2009

Todd and I sort of skipped Valentine's Day this year. It wasn't intentional, we just both forgot that it was coming up. I remembered last week and told myself do think of something thoughtful to do for the man I love. Then promptly forgot.

We joined some family members at the Webb's cabin in Wyoming for the weekend and I honestly didn't remember until about mid-day Sunday that it was Valentine's Day. Whoops! Luckily, Todd had forgotten as well. So we laughed about it ... and I think we were both glad we've been married long enough not to care!

On Monday, Todd helped me re-arrange our basement and the garage. He joked about that being my Valentine's present, because he knows how much I love to get things done. We laughed, but Todd was right on the money. He knows me so well.

It got me thinking about dating and marriage. I have fond memories of dating. I dated a lot at BYU, and I enjoyed getting to know new people who exposed me to their interests, hobbies, friends and families. I (mostly) dated really nice guys who treated me well. (There were a few idiots here and there, but I am partially to blame for going out with them in the first place).

Todd and I had so much fun when we started dating. Our courtship wasn't run-of-the-mill -- we dated for six months, broke up for six months, dated for a few more months, broke up again for a few months, then got back together, dated for about six more months, got engaged and then got married. Despite the on-again, off-again routine, we always had a good time together.

While I enjoyed dating my husband (and other people before him), I really don't miss those days. Sure, dating is exciting and mysterious, but marriage is so much better. I love the feeling of familiarity that comes with married life. I can finish Todd's sentences, anticipate how he'll react to a situation and know just what to say to make him laugh. I love that I know him better than anyone, and I can honestly say he is the best person I know. I love looking at our kids each day and seeing their Dad in them. I love that we can skip Valentine's Day and instead of getting each other chocolates or flowers, we can work side-by-side nurturing our family and creating a home. (Of course, there is a time for flowers and candy, too).

I love the day-to-day living of life together. Yesterday I was hit with a nasty stomach bug that had me up all the night and in bed all day. I didn't even have to ask Todd to take the day off. He just got right to work, feeding the kids, doing the laundry, cleaning the kitchen floor. When he walked into the room later that day -- and I was still in bed -- I got butterflies just looking at him. I'll take that over dating, any day of the week.

To My Dear and Loving Husband
by Anne Bradstreet

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me ye women if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee give recompense.
Thy love is such I can no way repay;
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so persever,
That when we live no more we may live ever.